[[ eBook ]] Outlander Author Diana Gabaldon – Intimatenights.co.uk
Contains SPOILERS I was lying in a hospital bed with my leg broken, and once the library trolley came for a round of books, anyone , my hand was in the air in no time Too late did the librarian notice the foreign literature on my bedside table and with a distraught expression try to recover Outlander I said firmly Oh no, Madam, I ll read that Just enough time left for her to make up with a tome of controversial French literature on the genocide in RuandaBut as I d said my first mission was Outlander.Anyway, it could not be that bad, since I d seen it sold by the local bookclub before.Ah yes, it could After some forty pages, my jaw dropped in disbelief, after some hundred pages the case was as good as closed But then, to tell the truth, Ms Gabaldon s warped morals kept me going.Because this brave woman has achieved what I never thought could be done she has fabricated some catholically correct porn.Let me point that out Claire, pretty much a Mary Jane on the first few pages her lovely we know it is, curly and unruly, though she claims it is not hair is described at length, and did you know she can heal people Oh yes, and Did you know she has a spitfire personality, but everybody likes her in spite of that, well not the women, but then, they re either jealous or uptight or both is by some zing of the time space continuum catapulted back to the Scotland of yore, without her husband goodlooking, sensitive, a savant , but never mind, she finds some replacement in her husband s evil ancestor looks just like him , who s just as much into Claire, but unfortunately lacks the morals to please and guts to take it up with Ms Spitfire.This proves to be helpful in forgetting husband 1, handy, since soon Claire arouses the ardour of a young, proud and good looking Scotsman, Jamie, who, if a bit on the simple side, is as true as gold, not to mention built like.well yes and just one twist of fate later, they find themselves exchanging vows Note The good never have extra marital sex in this book, that s for the evil and sluggish.Surprise upon surprise, actually Jamie is a virgin on their wedding night, but with a few leads, quickly gets into his role Matrimony turns into a sacrament what would otherwise be a sin , or so it goes.In the following, this sacrament is bestowed upon darling Claire with unnerving frequency, about every two pages, but it only gets really colourful if preceded by conjugal beating Claire did something bad, Claire has to be punished, yes, she herself aknowledges this in the end, or attempts of strangers or evil husband to rape her.Yes, and of course, after Jamie has de facto been raped and tortured by evil husband He s so desolate Evil husband forced Jamie into actually enjoying the experience This is not right, Jamie is straight, Jamie is disgusted by himself But Claire does some sexual healing and re enactment and pouf To top this off, in the end Claire learns from a monk that de facto both her marriages are considered valid by the church, since the one with Jamie precedes the one back in the 20th century.Most distasteful because of the wifebeating episode and the fact that homosexuality is shown as an evil trait adherent to the evil guy some young kid with a bible hung himself because of this, strange enough, female victims of rape are not half as suicidal in this book So we repeat No sex without marriage Woman has to obey man Otherwise she gets into trouble, and he has to punish her Homosexuals among the evil only.Any questions had there been the possibility to bestow 0 stars on this concoction, ah well. I remember my friend in college 1992ish coming out of her room holding a book to her chest and saying YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK She said it was a time travel, romance book set in post world war II Scotland and mid 18th century Scotland Being as I was a 24 year old stoner and a 5th year college student, Lord of the Rings was up my alley and I told her I d put it on my list Fast forward to 2009, I m on my usual Saturday morning sojourn to Barnes and Noble and I come across Outlander in the fiction section As I am currently without any books to read and nothing catching my interest, I decide to finally give it a try All I can say is I cannot believe I wasted almost 20 years of my life without reading this book I won t go into the plot as it s already been covered, but, Holy Shit, this is one fantastic book You ve got adventure, drama, history, fantasy and romance Easily the best romantic story line I ve ever read and literally the most charismatic, appealing male lead I ve seen I ve since read the whole series and love it even today If you ve ever read a book and literally gotten so sucked in that you can t possibly read fast enough, then you know what I m talking about..Oh, and Jamie Fraser is a God I ve been an avid reader since I was 8 and Jamie is without a doubt my most beloved Whomever your favorite male protagonist is I can promise you that no one compares to Jamie, no one Read on, GR friends, this series is epic and you won t regret it P.S circa Fall 2013 I usually don t care if someone does not like a book that I love Everyone s tastes are different That being said I find if someone says something negative about Outlander I have an almost visceral reaction and want to stab them with a fork So if you re a hater you better watch yourself..and seriously What s wrong with you A special note to those who say my review stopped them from reading this book No no no Read it I actually reread the whole series last summer and enjoyed it immensely Just read it for what it is ludicrous, well written, humorous, delicious TRASH Just don t expect it to be the most brilliant novel ever written and you ll be fine.How To Commit Adultery Without Being a Cheap Slutty Whore A QA by Diana GabaldonQ I love my husband but I m feeling kind of restless But adultery is wrong So what do I do A Easy Go back in time Q What do you mean, Ms Gabaldon A If you go back in time, your husband hasn t been born yet So you can have wild and crazy SM sex with impunity.Q But won t I still be married to him A Aren t you listening He hasn t been BORN yet So you aren t married But if you are really being such a stickler, then just have someone force you to get married to someone else.Q But, but, no one can force me to get married against my will A Okay, let me lay it out for you You re really hot for this sexy warrior barbarian guy, right I know this, because you stop thinking about your husband about 24 hours after you ve been dropped in this guy s arms So you get in this situation where some obscure tribal law insists you have to get married, make a little protest, sign some papers, and voila Q But that doesn t mean I have to sleep with him.A Oh but you do, because some random dude insists that you have to Don t worry, the sex will be great even though he s a 23 year old virgin So you see, you HAVE to do it, so it s okay.Q But isn t it a sin A Fine, find a priest at the end of the book to absolve you, whatever And anyway, it s okay because your husband basically told you it was okay, right before you were whisked back in time Seriously, go for it When else will you get the chance You ve been married for years You deserve a little hot and heavy barbarian action.Q So what s this hot barbarian guy like A Well, watch out, because he loves to reminisce about how his dad used to beat him and how wonderful that was And he really gets off on beating you, but it s just the once Oh, and it seems that he wants you so badly he can t restrain from ramming you repeatedly with his male member while telling you how much he can t restrain himself and that gets seriously annoying after the twentieth time But otherwise, it s all good.Q Anything else I should be aware of A Surprise Buttsex But not for you, so it s okay.Oddly, I m going to read the next one in the series Because I m bizarrely fascinated It s like a train wreck.Edit 1 Someone in the comments said I should copy this into the review, so here you go Plot SummaryClaire I love my husband I love sex Frank But it s okay if you have sex with someone else, in certain circumstances.Standing Stones SUCK Ha ha, you re in another time The Anti Frank Ooooh, I think I will rape you.Claire Eeek Clansmen Scots to the rescue Here, meet Jamie and his manly manhood.Jamie Och, aye, I m a tough laddie And I m going to kill the Anti Frank for beating the shit outta of me and raping my sister.Claire Ooooh, he s cute Hey, wasn t I married Dougal Ye have to marry the laddie to get away from the Anti Frank.Claire Okay.Dougal And ye have to have sex wit him.Claire Mmmmm but well, okay.Jamie I m a virgin Oooh, but I love sticking my manhood in ye It s like a sacrament and all.Claire I should get back to Frank, I think I will take this opportunity to run away I guess sort of meh.The Anti Frank Ha ha Found you Now to rape you Jamie Och, that s my wee lassie First I m going to rescue her, then I m going to beat her for disobeying me And then I m going to tell her about how me Da beat me and how much I liked it.Jealous wench The village witch is looking for you.Claire Okay Villagers She s a witch Burn her Jamie Over my dead body Claire Honey, I have something to tell you I m not a witch butJamie Ye must go back Claire I can t I long for your manhood too much It s a manhood like no other.The Anti Frank I too long for your manhood I think I will bugger you right after I crush your hand with a hammer But, I love you You remind me of my dead brother Here s some grease.Jamie Ouch Oooh, but that feels sort of good Och, I m so ashamed.Claire We must rescue Jamie Send in the cows Jamie OCH Me hand Just let me die Claire Never Let s go to France.Jamie Och, aye lassie, I feel much better now.Father Anselm God says it s okay that you re a bigamist.Claire Awesome Time to use my foreknowledge of past events for good Diana Gabaldon The sequel will be 900 pages.Finis Yes I read this I admit it You caught me Not only that I loved it It is a double sin I will likely have to one day repent for by reading piles of Dostoyevsky while I tear out my hair In any case Right, once again into the breach to defend myself This book is incredibly long It s just a fact All of them are But they go by so incredibly fast By the time I got to the third one I read it in three days The pages just keep turning I read at double speed I was so engrossed in the story And I must admit that usually I hate time travel romances I mean not that I have any experience trying them before never but this one is not even about that Or if it is, it just makes it better Also There is a pile of historical information in this text It deals with the Bonnie Prince Charlie uprising, and the rest of the books go on to deal with the American colonies and the Revolution by the time that they re done It s not just about the romance It s about medical treatment, what horrid things Scottish people ate, the reality of what people would have suffered through Which is in some cases I think a direct indictment of the Scottish Highlander bodice rippers in which everyone is shining and perfect and with awfully clean white teeth I d say this is historical fiction than romance.But fine, let s deal with the romance Yes There is a lot of sex However, I found it to also be deeply intimate and true, brutal, and real Claire and Jamie, while apart, are deeply attractive and sympathetic characters with a good deal of nobilty about them Throw them together in love And they are beautifully frail, selfish, angry, flawed I love that statement I really find them so incredibly touching.So there It s not just a romance novel I stick my tongue out oh so maturely at the readers of this review. This book is my love, you all know this It deserves an infinite amount of stars, too bad Goodreads only allows 5 Check out my review on YouTube here WHATTTT HOW DID I NOT MARK THIS MAGNIFICENT CREATION OF A NOVEL AS READ BEFORE I read this book 2 years ago and it has captured my heart and is my favorite book of all time 3 I wanted to write a better review for this book to coincide with the release of the new TV series, where Jamie actually does look pretty hotBack when I read this as a wee lass okay, like, three years ago , there weren t quite as many interesting interpretations of the novel going on I remember reading a bunch of reviews that either sold it as sophisticated, well researched historical fiction, or a trashy kilt wearing romance full of sex, violence and violent sex In my opinion, neither is too far from the truth.I m going to be honest I never finished the series And I m starting to think that it s likely I never will But this means nothing I thoroughly enjoyed the first four books, which equates to several thousand pages of enjoyment They are huge, time consuming volumes, which is why starting one is such a huge commitment and why I think the remaining books may stay forever unread But I still think Outlander, at least, is worth reading.This book is an entertaining, fast paced romp through 1783 and has numerous close encounters with torture, sexual assault, witch trials and a whole lot of bloodshed I m not going to sell you some spiel about historical accuracy I don t have a damn clue what Scotland was really like in the 18th century but I can promise that it s hard to avoid being dragged in and devoured by this novel that is as gruesomely violent as it is exquisitely romantic.Oh, and about that this book tells the story of Claire Randall who finds herself suddenly transported back a couple hundred years and lands amid the warfare and dangers of Scottish clan life In these strange circumstances, she meets Jamie Readers often end up completely divided over Jamie because, although he is sweet and lovable for the majority of the novel, there is one disturbing scene that saddens and enrages any sane 21st Century reader, including me though not sure about the sane.So I will spoil that one thing for you if you like it s not a major spoiler view spoiler there is one scene of domestic violence where Jamie beats Claire with a belt I am in no way trying to say this act of violence was a good thing or acceptable it was a sign of the kind of times people lived in back then sucky times But I was able to forgive Jamie when viewing the incident within the historical context I know you re probably thinking how the fuck is that possible well, thing is, if Claire had been a man and she d done what she did, she would have been flogged to within an inch of her life As they didn t believe in doing that to women, her punishment was milder and had to be carried out by her husband Believe me, I raged too But I was still able to appreciate the rest of the novel hide spoiler Ok, first off, there are going to be minor spoilers hints in this review read at your own risk, although I ll try not to reveal too much Outlander is a damn good book Sure, the book has a blue fake leather cover, costs four bucks, and screams spinning rack at the airport bookstore I approached the text with suspicion but found myself invested in the language and storyline within the first hundred pages Here s why TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT OUTLANDER1 The characterizations of Jamie and Claire, along with a few other less important figures, are stellar Ms G goes out of her way to create rich, deep personalities If you thought Jamie was only going to be a caricature of romantic manhood, you d be wrong If you thought Claire was going to be a plucky damsel in distress, you re wrong.2 As I ve said before, Ms G did her research Her sense of detail, whether discussing plants or historical elements intrinsic to the plant, is admirable.3 There are a few truly funny passages in the book Claire s interactions with men who try to tell her what to do, and her sharp tongue, are often quite entertaining.4 There are a few very, um, stimulating parts in Outlander You know what I mean, those of you who have the reached the cave scene and a few others earlier in the book.5 Ms G displays strong insight in trust and relationships The fights between Claire and Jamie seem real and at times harrowing Jamie s recovery near the end of the book and his description of his trials are nothing short of terrifying She doesn t spare her reader or the characters tough questions and emotional pain Outlander is not an easy read.6 The plot moves quickly I found myself wanting to cheat and page ahead to find out what was going to happen This book screams screenplay Why is it not a movie 7 Ms G writes well I know that sounds trite, but she structures her sentences intelligently and reading rarely dragged I knocked out 850 pages in three busy weeks but looked forward to picking up the book after the house grew quiet.8 John Randall and the witch can t remember her name, Ginnie or something were both well drawn Randall in particular fascinated me Villains are usually less complicated than Mr Randall.9 The time travel facet of the book, as Kirk pointed out, is handled very well and not overused in a sensationalistic manner.10 Outlander raises some fascinating ethical questions I could see it as a good book club book Should Claire get married Did she put herself in unreasonable danger and some of her friends in danger in turn What s up with Randall Those types of questions.THREE THINGS I THOUGHT OUTLANDER COULD DO BETTER1 There were times when I felt Ms G was setting up the sequel a bit too much You know when you re watching a movie and you can tell some plot points aren t going to get resolved until the next one That feeling I could feel that a couple times.2 The prison and Lollybrook sp scenes dragged a bit Outlander really could have been two books.3 I wasn t comfortable with some of the religious discussion during Jamie s recovery I m not sure why Ms G put the priest in and the conversation in which Claire s actions are rationalized I didn t think that was necessary.Ok, I have a question Why is the quality of Outlander so controversial It s a flat out good book Is it because Outlander is aimed, it seems, primarily at women Is it the huge, smelly pile of Fabio covered romance novels tainting Ms G s work I swear, and I think I ve said this before, market this book differently and you ve got a respected hit on your hands rather than a less respected novel that sold a zillion copies but appears to be of lesser quality than it is thanks, fake leather cover Don t be afraid of Outlander It s a solid adventure story with decent psychological insight and some good sex scenes I doubt you ll be disappointed Take the risk Don t be a wuss. Quick question if this book has a quarter of a million ratings and still maintains an average rating of 4.13, why the hell are the most popular reviews the snarky, mean spirited, one or two star reviews That doesn t match up at all with what I d assume would be the case, which is that most people who read this book LOVED IT Including me Please, people If you enjoy a book, click like on the good reviews as well That s what people see first when they look for reviews on Goodreadsthe ones with the most popularity, or likes Sad that this amazing book s two most populare and therefore most visible reviews are not in keeping with most people s thoughts Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone.I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One.I give ye my Spirit, til our Life shall be Done SUMMARY Claire is happily married She and her husband are visiting Scotland and soaking up the history while indulging in some much needed time alone One morning, they are witness to a group of women performing a ritual at a nearby stone circle They should have been ridiculous, and perhaps they were A collection of women in bedsheets, many of them stout and far from agile, parading in circles on top of a hill but the hair prickled on the back of my neck at the sound of their call The modern witches at the stone circlespooky and oh, such a good mood setter Claire returns to the circle later I wonder if she felt called to that magical place, as if fate had plans for her and she was simply following her destiny.The tallest stone of the circle was cleft, with a vertical split dividing the two massive pieces Without warning, and for no apparent reason, Claire is whisked back to the year 1743.I could say that my field of vision contracted to a single dark spot, then disappeared altogether, leaving not darkness, but a bright void I could say that I felt as though I were spinning or as though I were being pulled inside out All these things are true, yet none of them conveys the sense I had of complete disruption, of being slammed very had against something that wasn t there There she meets James Fraser, a man who is as complex as their relationship turns out to be Claire never stops trying to get back home, but this world of the past and her present is slowly beginning to sink into her She must now decide between remaining faithful to a man she may never see again, or conceding to the realization that she will forever remain in this time, with this fascinating man who has become her fiercest protector It s pure craziness to me how this book can be summed up in a couple of paragraphs And it s both detrimental and beneficial that a summary simply cannot encompass the sheer scope of heart that is in these pages I was absolutely unprepared.Why detrimental Because the details did become tedious, even as they were adding to the story The downtimeinstead of a time of building anticipation, became a time of hurry up and wait This is the only reason that I can t give this five starsbecause, for a couple hundred pages, I was a wee bit bored And I hope that my saying this won t keep someone from reading it I wish that I didn t have to mention it, but in order to be fair and honest, I feel like it s necessary, if only to keep someone s expectations from becoming too high And to be totally confusing, it s the details that drag you down into the middle of the eighteenth century, the minor secondary plots that make you live this life for awhile So I m not certain that they weren t necessary I do wish that we got of Claire dealing with the mundane things, but she just never seems bothered enough with inconveniences to mention them.I don t want to do much of a character breakdown except for maybe the three big key players in this story Claire You re no verra sensible, Sassenach, but I like ye fine Oh boy I had heard that a lot of people didn t like Claire at first And to be quite honest, for most of the book I really DID like her She was fairly steadfast to her husbandalthough circumstances bieng what they were, it would have been nearly impossible for her to stay that way This was a fascinating look into what it must have been like for a woman back in those times Not quite the Dark Ages but boy, they were a far cry from modern women s rights This was a time of witch burnings and mob mentality Imagine what it would be like to go back to these times, knowing what we know now, remembering what took place in history, and being scared to death to be female You re completely at the mercy of the men you are with Thank goodness Claire stumbled upon Jamie.Her character did fluctuate for me, for obvious reasons I had a few minor hiccups with how wishy washy she was at times, and how little she seemed to think about how her actions would affect Jamie However, view spoiler I do think that she had no idea how passionately Jamie felt for her until near the very end So why would she feel the need to constantly spare his feelings and put him first hide spoiler The Year Is 1945 Claire Randall, A Former Combat Nurse, Is Just Back From The War And Reunited With Her Husband On A Second Honeymoon When She Walks Through A Standing Stone In One Of The Ancient Circles That Dot The British Isles Suddenly She Is A Sassenach An Outlander In A Scotland Torn By War And Raiding Border Clans In The Year Of Our Lord1743.Hurled Back In Time By Forces She Cannot Understand, Claire Is Catapulted Into The Intrigues Of Lairds And Spies That May Threaten Her Life, And Shatter Her Heart For Here James Fraser, A Gallant Young Scots Warrior, Shows Her A Love So Absolute That Claire Becomes A Woman Torn Between Fidelity And Desire And Between Two Vastly Different Men In Two Irreconcilable Lives.